Intubated Patient Unable to Defend Fart

For some patients Intensive Care Unit rounds are a rather pleasant experience where patients have the opportunity to learn all about their care plans, but for others, such as Utah small business owner Gloria Delgado, they are a time of horror and embarrassment.  Gloria suffered from a severe pneumonia which ultimately required intubation for 9 days in the ICU, and while she was on paralytic and sedative drips, she was still somewhat aware of what was taking place.  One resident in particular fired off herbicidal flatus with indiscretion before morning rounds, and
instead of owning up to it when the team passed her (quickly), this young man recommended stool studies for clostridium difficile infection be sent.  This took place day after day until Gloria tried to express it was him during rounds one morning.  He made panicky eye contact and gave her a quick bolus of sedation.
Not to be outdone, Gloria intends to have the last laugh.  She is currently performing an IRB approved study to estimate the burden of misplaced gas blame in hospitalized patients.  Early data indicate that small children, ostomy patients, and intubated patients are at the highest risk.