¼ Million Dollar Education Enables ENT Physician To Procure Tiny Plastic Bead From Child's Ear


Tuesday afternoon on February the 17th in ENT clinic, Dr. Amy Phenning was raised up, exalted heroine for the day.  With little ado, the sure handed Ear, Nose, and, Throat physician procured a small plastic bead from a 2 year old’s ear canal.  This pink plastic was the cause of a lot of distress for both 2 year old Drew Redmond and his mother, who was otherwise planning to spend a relaxing morning at Michael’s and Hobby Lobby with the rest of the young mothers of Cincinnati.  Dr. Phenning knew she would have no problem with the small, glitter-studded object.  $250k in debt and nine years of indentured servitude during the prime of her life had endowed her with the skill set required to grasp this tiny object with a pair of medical grade tweezers.
Drew, of course, was oblivious to his mother’s plans, and as his mother was attempting to remove the object of discourse with a Q-tip (but actually tamping it down like gun powder in a Civil War musket) from the squalling child’s auditory canal, she realized she may have to set aside her desire to revitalize the living room and attend to her now inconsolable kid.  The good natured Dr. Phenning answered the phone and encouraged them to come to the office right away, and Ms. Redmond, realizing her the window of opportunity for taking home that floral rug she had her eye on was closing, wasted no time.
“Where the fuck did he find that fucking bead?” wondered Ms. Redmond with a smile as the kindly ENT physician removed it with shiny pair of alligator forceps.
Weekly Hero Series update:
Stay tuned for next week’s hero when we discuss how emergency doc Stan Shackleford’s ¼  million dollar education prepared him to probe an inmates anus for keistered heroin!